ramble on why don't you

ok so why do we all have to be strong because last night i was the opposite of that crying while listing to my fav song just because of the most amazing memory i had with you, when will the time come that ill fall in love and you will love me back, running round in fucken circles with you boys, im trying to look my best lately just because i want someone to find me not saying that im waiting i am looking i am trying i just wish that if i asked for your number i wouldn't get shut down because that is the worst thing that could ever happen to me it hasn't happened to me that bad YET just because its been over text but then if i get your number and iv never talked to you before will it be awkward like the other guys how come it has to be awkward why does that word have to be invented, who made it up because who ever made it up i want to hunt them down and kill them because if we didn't know this word then it wouldn't be programmed into our heads that it would happen, i mean what if there wasn't that awkward tension in the room life would actually be bearable. ram ram ram ramble