life time of tears

Why do I feel like this I have an amazing boyfriend who makes me happy but all those feelings are hidden by the pain I feel. Nothing ever goes right for me. I always feel like they gang up on me but what for I don't think I'm doing anything wrong apart from not being the prefect daughter my parents want, and I'm 18 everyone else got more freedom but I get less wtf is that, all because I'm leaving next year and proving my parents wrong that the dumb child in the family is the only one going to get a quilifacation even tho I can't even spell that. The start of this year and the end of last was so amazing but next year I have a feeling I'm going to be depressed for half the year just because you won't be there to cheer me up. I love you onion.

change starts with one little word being said it could end up being a good thing and also a bad thing. theres even change in my blog. mostly in my emotions and feelings.

right now ill tell you im happy, listen to bon iver http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=774mOmdKtZM

its making me happy thinking about what i have in my life and what has happened in my life and not the negative things because they suck balls.

i love

i live

i laugh

i look

i linger

i leave

but mainly

i love

isn't it just great when you cry yourself to sleep for no reason. when you get told that what your doing is wrong but you don't see it.

whats wrong with me

im afraid of losing you, im afraid you will stop loving me, im afraid you will change, im afraid we will grow apart, im afraid you will die, im afraid something will happen, im afraid for next year, im afraid for the months to come, im afraid of our future together, im afraid for you,

im not afraid that i love you :)

this thing is hard for me, i dont want to face the end of it. i love you way to much your my 1st love and always will be.

we never know what love feels like, what makes us love someone. people say you cant love someone when your a teenager and i know im a hypocrite right now by saying its not love when your young but im saying it is now because i have felt it and i dont give a rat ass what you think of me by saying im in love because its mine and his life and we are happy and happiness is a part of love so suck on that bitchs. wow just had a bit of a ramble wont make any sense but i understand what i just said and i tryed telling you :)

hVE A FAB DAY :)

i want to curl up in a ball and cry for no reason

or fall asleep and never wake up but i don't know why

lets dress up

happy fucken new year. i feel alot of things will be different this year lets hope they are good things

mr onion